


this love i have for you

by honeycombkiss



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Peter, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Starmora, Team as Family, establishing a relationship, they deserve all the happiness in the world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-18 17:31:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17585225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeycombkiss/pseuds/honeycombkiss
Summary: “It’s just an unspoken thing,” she repeated what she’d said weeks ago, all the while knowing it won’t work this time. That she didn’t want it to work this time.“It doesn’t have to be,” Peter murmured.





	1. Something In Me Was Dying

_Chapter One - Something in Me Was Dying_

_Something in me was dying_  
And my heart was heavy as stone  
Hard as I was trying  
I never could find, find my way home

It had been nearly two weeks since the catastrophe on Ego, and Peter considered himself well and truly fucked. The bruises his father left hadn’t even begun to fade. His wounds hadn’t started to scar, and he was still changing bloody gauzes three times a day.

He had to admit that his luck hadn’t completely run out, though, as the other Guardians were occupied with becoming acquainted with their new ship and their new team member. Rocket was consumed with the need to rig the _Benatar_ for any course of action. Groot was still so small, enamored with getting lost and hiding in tiny alcoves. Drax spent his time in their new training facility or teasing Mantis. The newest Guardian herself was calm and pleasant, always up for any adventure. Peter already considered her a fellow Guardian, and a little sister-type figure. There was still so much she needed to learn. And while everyone was focused on teaching her, there was one Guardian that Peter couldn’t quite count out. Gamora, Peter figured, knew something was up. Peter wasn’t up to his normal par, so preoccupied by the pain of surviving.

That particular day found Peter having just finished changing his bandages, allowing himself to finally walk back out of his personal quarters. Walking wasn’t nearly as painful as it had been a week ago. Which had to be a win, or a sign of some healing. It was all he could think about. How he was and wasn’t healing, how the lingering pain was and wasn’t affecting his day to day functioning. He walked towards the common area, mind feeling muddled and cloudy, before he stopped short t the sound of a hushed conversation coming from their living quarters.

“He’s being too quiet,” Gamora’s voice carried worry.

“She’s right,” Drax spoke next, his voice was a touch too loud. Both Rocket and Gamora loudly shushed him. Peter could picture the look Drax must’ve given.

“I can try and soothe him,” Mantis whispered. “Maybe he is distressed.”

“I don’t know if that’s it.” Gamora huffed.

“Something’s definitely wrong,” Rocket piped up.

“I am Groot.”

“Yes, exactly,” Rocket agreed. “Quill never shuts up.”

An indignant ‘Hey!’ sat at Peter’s lips, though he quickly bit down.

“What can we do?” Mantis wondered.

“I don’t know yet,” Gamora answered, sounding both frustrated and slightly irritated. “There is something obviously bothering him,” Peter could almost see the way she crossed her arms against her chest.

“His whole life did kind of collapse around him,” Rocket offered. “Quill’s definitely too soft to handle something like that,” Peter could hear the concern in Rocket’s voice, how he tried to hide it behind insults. Drax broke out into laughter.

“Whatever it is,” Gamora cut them off. “It’s definitely effecting him.”

“I am Groot.”

“Don’t worry, Groot,” Rocket sounded softer. “Quill’ll be fine.”

Peter couldn’t wait another moment to reveal himself, allowing the silence in their conversation to cushion his entrance. He coughed to announce his presence.

“Oh, hey everybody,” he greeted, wincing when he accidently hip-checked the doorway. “Did I miss something?” He felt suddenly grateful he was a better liar than Gamora and Nebula.             

“Nah, we weren’t just-” Rocket began, before Gamora lightly kicked him.

“No, you didn’t,” Gamora’s smile was gentle, and Peter felt a teeny bit guilty for lying to her. He could see the lines against her forehead, and he knew that she was worrying on his behalf. “How are you feeling?”

“You keep asking that,” Peter sighed, plastering on a fake smile. “And the answer is still the same.”

Gamora’s shoulders sagged. Peter’s heart panged.

“Alright,” she sighed, turning away. No doubt to sharpen her knives or swords. It’s what she always did when she felt the situation was out of her control. He didn’t want it to be because of him. Operation Don’t Worry The Team was seriously failing.

“How about a round of cards?” Peter offered to the other Guardians.

“Ooh yes,” Mantis agreed, although she was still as horrible as the day they had taught her.

“I am Groot?”

“Sure, buddy, you can be on my team,” Peter agreed, allowing Groot to climb his way up into Peter’s cupped hands. He’d just have to keep up his lie a little bit longer. Hopefully he would heal soon.

 

 _And your voice came out of nowhere_  
Be my friend and give me your hand  
Let's take off together  
And then we can live wherever we land

 

Hours later, Gamora cornered him as he tried to disappear back to his quarters. He could feel his bandages becoming warm and sticky with the blood still oozing from his chest and side.

“Where are you off to?” She asked, her hand firm on his wrist where she’d grabbed him.

“Just, uh, thought I’d go have some privacy,” he lied easily. It was a believable lie; he had just epically lost a game to Rocket.

“Mind if I join you?” She asked, and there was nothing Peter wanted more than to nod his head. Because their unspoken thing was now becoming an un-thought-about thing. As much as it pained him, the current moment just wasn’t the best time to worry about it. He was feeling weak and his skin was prickling. The pain pills he’d been taking were fading and his teeth rattled with the now throbbing pain. And while Gamora’s presence was everything to him, his façade was more important at the moment.

“Uh, I’d just like to be alone,” he lied again. “I’ll come find you later?” he posed it like a question, knowing she wasn’t going to like it.

She didn’t answer right away. Instead, her dark eyes bore into his green ones, searching for what she hopefully wouldn’t find.

“Peter-” she started, her eyes still looking right into his own, though he quickly cut her off.

“I’ll come find you,” he promised, shaking his wrist out of her grasp. Her arm fell against her side.

She didn’t say anything, though she didn’t stop him from disappearing into his quarters. He pulled the door shut behind him, stealing a moment when the pain overcame him. He wasn’t used to feeling this weak. His life had thus far been lived as immortal. He hadn’t even been able to enjoy it before it was stripped of him. There had been no way of knowing that he’d made it out of every scrap, learned to survive among the Ravagers and made a name for himself among the galaxy due to his inability to meet death. And yet, here he was, suffering from the loss of celestial light within his body and soul. He had once been immortal, and now he was a mere mortal. The fight against his father had left him battered and bruised, unable to heal like he once had.

Peter figured he was now healing at the rate of a normal Terran. That thought was terrifying, if Peter allowed it to fester within his mind. Every time it came to the surface, he quickly buried it back down. He didn’t want to imagine a life without the Guardians should his body be unable to heal anymore. Should his body now be frail, he knew Gamora and the others wouldn’t allow him to fight alongside them anymore. Which is why keeping this secret was imperative.

 

 _Something in me was broken_  
And my thoughts were bitter and ill  
My world was blown open  
And I couldn't see and I couldn't feel

 

“We’ve got a job, assholes,” Rocket jumped atop the table the following time cycle. Peter’s eyes were still closed, his head balanced atop his propped arm. Gamora was warm against his right side. Groot had abandoned his seat on Peter’s other side, attempting to steal skittles before Gamora noticed. Peter didn’t have the heart to stop him despite the _other_ unspoken thing between Gamora and himself; try and raise Groot up right.

“Finally,” Drax spoke. “We cannot sit around this ship forever.”

“I too am excited for a job,” Mantis forms the words around a yawn. Peter is seriously worried for her in a battle.

“It’s simple enough,” Rocket spoke back up. “We’re just picking up a stolen treasure chest from some idiots.”

“Who is requesting our services?” Gamora asked.

“Some rich asshole from Xandar. They have reason to believe it’s been taken to Knowhere,”

Peter groaned. He felt the eyes of the team immediately flicker to him.

“I hate that place,” he grumbled, opening his eyes to look at the group surrounding him.

“It is a shitty planet,” Drax agreed, nodding towards Peter.

“She’s offering a shit ton of units.” Rocket answered, as if it was all that mattered. And in his defense, it kind of was.

“Yeah, I’d just rather never go back,” Peter sighed. The team grumbled about their mission for a moment, before Groot spoke up from where he stood in front of Peter’s face.

“I am Groot,” his worried eyes flashed from Peter to Gamora.

“Hey!” Peter squawked. “And here I was not telling Gamora about your secret skittle stash!”

“Groot,” Gamora’s voice held a warning, and Groot looked at her sheepishly. “You’ve had enough candy.” Then she fixed her attention to Peter. He tried to avoid eye contact, though she reached out and turned his face towards her. “He’s right, Peter, why is your head bruised?”

Peter floundered. He hadn’t even noticed the bruise at his temple that Gamora was now studying. Had it been there before this morning? He could only shrug in response.

“Must’ve hit my head or something,” he answered dumbly.

“You don’t know?” Gamora asked, an edge to her voice.

“You d’ast idiot,” Rocket shook his head.

“I must’ve sleep walked,”

“Is that something you normally do?” Mantis looked shocked.

“I have never seen you sleep walk, Quill,” Drax squinted at him from across the table.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Peter defended.

“We were all crammed on the _Milano_ for months, I think it’s pretty sound,” Rocket shook his head. “You gotta lie better than that!”

“I’m not lying!”

“You don’t sleep walk,” Gamora spoke up. “Unless this is new?” She set him with a challenging look, as if daring him to answer in affirmative. He didn’t really want to.

“No, no, I just,” Peter shrugged his shoulders. “So this job? When do we start?”

The other Guardians stared at him, silence enveloping the _Benatar_. He held his breath, before Rocket grumbled something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like, ‘irresponsible moron’.

“Let’s head to that horrible mining planet,” Rocket hopped off the table and towards the cockpit. Peter jumped to his feet, trailing behind Rocket before anyone else could question him.

 

 _Something in me was sinking_  
Cause my heart was heavy as stone  
I gave up with thinking  
I never would find, find my way home

 

Eventually they arrived on Knowhere. They didn’t have the best intel, Rocket had been upset to inform them. Apparently the heiress didn’t possess any hard proof that the thief had run off to Knowhere. Instead, they had coordinates that were forgotten in the heiress’ manor, and a Nova Corps official sketch of the thief. It didn’t seem like a lot to go off of, but certainly was better than nothing. They stepped foot onto the planet and immediately split up. Gamora and Mantis would join Peter in tracking down the location of the coordinates. Drax, Groot and Rocket would patrol the neighboring area for any other signs.

Peter and Gamora strode side by side, Mantis trailing behind them. No one said a word. Peter tried to ignore the pain in his every step. He hadn’t had time to sneak away and doctor the wound. Instead, he was walking around Knowhere with a bloody, throbbing side.

They continued walking for what felt like miles. They were nearly stopped several times, but anytime Gamora unsheathed Godslayer, they were quickly left alone. She seemed particularly on edge, her stance stiff. Peter knew it meant no mercy for anyone near her.

“We’re coming up on the coordinates,” Gamora informed them, her lips pressed together. “Remember, Mantis, do not engage in combat unless there is no other option. You are not properly trained yet.”

“Yes, Gamora,”

“Stay behind us,” Gamora instructed. She didn’t waste another moment before she kicked the door in. Peter watched in awe. Gamora was highly skilled and Peter loved to fight alongside her. She was amazing.

They found the dilapidated apartment abandoned. There was a couch that had been shredded into pieces. The disintegrating remains of the cushions were scattered around the room. Peter did a quick glance around the room, taking in the peeling wallpaper at the corners of the room. A splintered door was closed across the room. The apartment was far from inviting, reeking of foul body odor and illegal drugs. Gamora began striding towards the closed door, and Peter and Mantis quickly followed. Gamora’s right hand held tight around a knife, her other hand hovering over her sheathed sword. Peter had both of his blasters held strong in his grasps. Mantis stood cowering behind him, her palms outstretched, no doubt ready to subdue a possible enemy.

No one spoke as they crossed the room. At the other door, Gamora kicked it down, too. The wood shattered into pieces all around the room.

“There’s nothing in here,” Gamora sounded angry, turning to look around the entire room.

“You mean it’s empty?” Drax asked, his voice loud in their ears.

“Yes, Drax, that’s exactly what I mean,” Gamora bit back.

“We didn’t take apart the couch,” Peter pointed out.

“Because it already has been,” Gamora turned on him. “It has been gutted.”

“Just check the couch,” Rocket barked. “There aren’t any leads out here.”

Peter turned to Gamora, searching her expression. She merely gestured, as if saying ‘go ahead’. Peter and Mantis didn’t waste a moment as they rushed back into the first room. Together, they fell to their knees at the base of the couch remains. They dug through the stuffing, reaching into the ripped sides. Peter came into contact with something sticky, cringing.

“Anything?” Rocket asked a moment later.

“Nothing yet,” Peter answered.

“There’s not going to be.” Gamora added, coming into the room. She’d put her knife away, glancing around the room. “We’re looking for a chest, remember?”

“So the coordinates were wrong?”

“Or they knew someone was coming,” Rocket suggested. “We’re going to keep looking around.”

“Alright,” Gamora answered for everyone. She walked the perimeter of the room, searching for some sort of clue.

“What do we do now?” Mantis asked, rising to her feet.

Peter tried to answer, but as he got to his feet, his legs felt wobbly. His vision was instantly fuzzy and his equilibrium felt off. He could feel his brain fog and before he knew it, he was losing feeling in his legs. He fell to the floor, unable to keep himself standing any longer. The last thing he comprehended before darkness was Gamora yelling his name, and Mantis yelping in surprise.

 

_And your voice came out of nowhere  
Be my friend and give me your hand_

                                                                                    

Everything happened at hyper speed. Too fast for Gamora to gather her bearings. She was stalking around the room, trying to tamper down her frustration and concern over Peter. He was refusing to open up. She felt ready to pry it out of him. And here they were, out on this planet with barely a lead. It was their first mission after Ego, and Gamora knew they only agreed because it was low risk. She was nearly regretting it now.

She glanced back over to the couch, hoping yet knowing there wouldn’t suddenly be a chest sitting on the floor. Just as her eyes grazed over Peter, she watched him crumple to the floor.

“Peter!” She yelled, rushing over to his side. She crossed the room in two large strides. She fell to her knees at his side, quickly jamming two fingers against his neck, hoping to feel his pulse. She held her breath until she felt it against her fingers. It was impossibly slow, but it was something.

“Rocket!” She yelled, much louder than she needed to. She hardly noticed. “Peter’s hurt!”

“Shit,” she heard the fear and exasperation in his voice. “I thought no one was up there!”

“We’re alone,” Mantis answered, her hand hovering over Peter’s head, looking to Gamora for assurance. Gamora was hesitant to allow Mantis to touch without Peter’s permission. She still hadn’t let Mantis have a chance to read her. It was overwhelming, and yet she knew she didn’t really have a choice. Gamora groaned in distress, finally nodding to Mantis.

“What do you mean you’re alone?!” Rocket called, and it was obvious he was running.

“He just passed out,” Gamora answered in a long huff, watching Mantis’ antennae begin to light up.

“He feels pain,” Mantis winced. “So much pain. And fear.” Mantis left her hand against his head, her eyes closed. “Guilt.”

“Peter,” Gamora whined. “I knew something was wrong.” Anger flared through her chest. At Peter, but mostly at herself. She had known Peter was hiding something. And she’d let it go. She should’ve pressed him harder. Hadn’t she just almost lost him?

“Can you carry him?” Rocket asked over their comms.

“Of course I can,” Gamora answered, trying to not let Rocket’s question offend her. “I’ll get him to the ship.”

“Should we keep looking around?” Drax asked, hesitancy in his voice. Finishing missions were key to survival, but Peter was hurt. Gamora knew they were reluctant to continue without him and Gamora.

“I don’t care,” Gamora answered. “Mantis and I will take Peter back.”

Gamora heaved Peter into her arms, his deadweight awkward to hold. Once she had a semi-stable grip around him, she began walking towards the door. It was then that someone showed up. A thug, teeth sharpened to a point, red eyes staring at her in alarm. Gamora didn’t have the patience.

“You’re kidding me!” She exclaimed in anger, kicking the man that stood in front of her. He fell to the floor in front of her. “The thief showed up.”

Mantis rushed around Gamora, who had a foot pressing down on the man’s chest. Peter was still passed out in her arms, and she was growing increasingly worried. Mantis quickly put her hand to the man’s head, yelling, “Sleep!”

“Mantis, wait for the others. I’m going back.” Gamora instructed, rushing down the stairs and onto the streets. She broke into a brisk walk and then a run. She still had no idea what had happened to Peter, and time seemed to be slipping between her fingers. They were still so far from the _Benatar_ and a medical kit. Peter’s frail, Terran body might not last, she feared.

She didn’t let her mind wander to the what ifs, instead focusing on running faster. She dodged people as they yelled at her to slow down. She had no spatial awareness, instead focusing on Peters dead weight in her arms.

Several minutes passed before the _Benatar_ was in view. She wanted to be relieved, but there were still too many unknowns. There was so much she didn’t know about Terran physiology. Rocket was better at this sort of thing, but she knew she couldn’t ask them to abandon the mission. Mantis would’ve been a good help, too, Gamora realized. She could try to ease Peter’s pain for a moment. Hell, even Drax would’ve been great for the situation. He was able to be subjective, unafraid of being rough. Gamora seriously doubted her ability to be what Peter needed in the moment.

Over the comm unit she could hear the other Guardians engaged in the battle. There was yelling and gun shots, and Mantis commanding the thief to speak or sleep. She had no doubt they would find the treasure chest, as the thief seemed to cave at Rocket’s much scarier threat. Apparently he worked for someone else, someone who had disappeared before the thief could sell him the chest.

At the base of the _Benatar,_ Gamora jammed in the code, waiting for the doors to slide open. When a sliver opened up, she squeezed in, smacking the close button on her way in.

“Stay with me,” Gamora sounded fearful even to her own ears.

She set Peter down on the table, running to grab a med kit. Rocket had it organized by each of their species, luckily. She started grabbing every piece of equipment she thought she might possibly need.

“Rocket,” Gamora yelled, hoping he would answer. Their comm units were definitely strong enough to still unite them this far away. “Walk me through this!”

“Get him undressed so you can see if he has sustained any wounds,” Rockets voice was direct, not a bit of his sarcasm lacing his words.

Gamora wanted to smack her head at her lapse of judgement. It was the obvious first step. She didn’t bother with being gentle, instead she ripped Peter’s shirt in half, right down the middle. Big bandages patched up large portions of his chest and side. Blood was seeping out from underneath the sticky sides of it. There were deep purple bruises splattered across his torso. She unbuckled his belt, and yanked his pants down. His hips were also littered with bruises, too.

Gamora didn’t speak, just gasped and took a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?” Drax spoke over the comm. “It does not sound like everything is fine.”

“He’s covered in bruises,” Gamora answered. “And blood.”

“How?” Rocket cut in. “He hasn’t left the _Benatar_ since Ego!”

And everything clicked at once. Ego. The loss of the light. The battle with his celestial, planet father. These were his sustained wounds, somehow still not healed.

“I believe it is the loss of the light,” Mantis spoke, voicing Gamora’s own fears. “Others were not able to hold the light. They were instantly killed. It is too much to bear.”

“What does this even mean?!” Gamora knew her voice sounded desperate. She didn’t care to hide it.

“We’ve got to get him medical attention.” Rocket answered. “This is above any of our skill sets. We know how to kill, that’s about it.”

“Is there proper medical attention on this shitty planet?” Drax voiced the question they all had.

“We need to get him to Xandar,” Gamora knew she was pleading.

“That’s on the other side of the galaxy!” Rocket pointed out.

“We have to go anyway, to return the treasure chest and collect our payment.”

Nobody spoke to her, but she could hear them muttering to each other over the comm. They were no doubt trying to make a subjective decision. Gamora wanted to be involved, but she was focused on her task at hand. Dressing Peter’s wounds were important. She had already pulled off the bandages, and began swabbing the wounds with a cleaning wipe called ‘rubbing alcohol’.

In the compartment of the medical kit with her own name on it, a healing solvent stood out to her. She wasn’t sure how his body would respond to it, though it seemed like her only option. They had to do something to stabilize him until they could get to Xandar. Although Terrans were a much weaker species than Zehoberei and Gamora had many enhancements, something in her gut told her Peter was strong enough to handle it.

She opened the bottle, trickling several drops of the liquid onto each of his wounds. As it seeped into his skin, she bandaged him back up. She checked his pulse again, feeling it slow yet steady underneath her touch. She focused on it for several beats, willing it to calm her own racing heartbeat.

“How much longer?” Gamora asked the other Guardians, her hand still against Peter’s pulse point. “I have dressed his wounds, but we cannot waste any more time.”

“Just a minute,” Rocket grunted, and she heard the cock of his gun. She held her breath, knowing they would finish as quickly as they could. There was nothing to do but wait. Something she didn’t have the patience for, especially in a crisis situation.

 

It took longer than Gamora had hoped for the Guardians to jump aboard the _Benatar._ Drax dropped a small chest onto the floor, while Rocket rushed to the cockpit. Within minutes they began ascending, leaving the darkness of Knowhere behind them. Gamora tried to calm down as they soared into the stars.

“We’ll make the first jump in forty clicks,” Rocket yelled from his pilot seat. Drax was hovering over the pilot chair, glancing between Peter and Gamora behind him and the stars before him. Mantis had Groot on her shoulder, both hovering over Peter’s unconscious form. Gamora could see the fear in both of their eyes. She knew she couldn’t look much different.

Gamora busied herself by preparing to secure Peter before they jumped. She hoped that wrapping her arms around Peter might keep him safe while they jumped.

“I don’t know about Xandar,” Rocket called back to Gamora. “It’s too many jumps away.”

“What do you suggest?”

“Xandar’s got a colony planet called Aakon,”

“I know of it!”

“We’re heading there.”

 

Rocket got them there in record speed. As they rushed to land and get Peter into the hospital as quickly as possible, Gamora had half the mind to grab his zune. Should he need comfort in his recovery, he would greatly appreciate having his music to listen to.

The next several minutes happened in a blur. Rocket had alerted the hospital of their arrival. Luckily the Guardians of the Galaxy were quite revered by all in the Nova Empire. They were quickly ushered into the hospital, and Peter was rushed back, leaving everyone else to wait for news.

No one spoke in the waiting room. Gamora sat between Rocket and Drax. She could feel Rocket’s gaze flicker back and forth onto her, but she didn’t have the energy to snap at him. Groot wandered around asking questions. He was curious about the light fixtures and a potted plant and the magazines on a table. Gamora tried to tune him out, although it became soothing to listen to the other Guardians answer his endless questions. There wasn’t much else to say. All they could do was wait.

 

After what felt like hours later, an Aakon doctor emerged from the doors Peter had been rushed through. Gamora jumped to her feet, and the others followed in her wake.

“Guardians,” he greeted. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Look, we’re grateful for the flattery but we’d rather you didn’t beat around the damn bush,” Rocket’s voice was harsh and biting. No one corrected him.

“Alright.” The doctor looked slightly uncomfortable by the comment. “We’ve run multiple tests, and considered the information you provided us. It seems that there is not much we can do for Mr. Quill. We have a cell regenerator that we can administer. It should speed up his body’s ability to heal. If his body doesn’t respond to it, his healing will be a slow process.”

“Thank you,” Gamora didn’t hesitate to speak for the team. “Go ahead and give him the regenerator.”

The doctor nodded. “We will update you when we have new information.”

He turned and left the Guardians alone in the waiting room once again. Their worry palpable in the room around them.

“Great, more waiting,” Rocket grumbled, walking back to his chair. He scooped Groot up and sat him on the table beside him. Groot had been keeping himself busy by climbing up the table legs and jumping off. Over and over again. Gamora was grateful to have something to focus on. Her eyes trailed Groot back and forth. Back and forth. Until the time slowly began passing around her. All she could do was will Peter to respond well to the regenerator.

 

 _Running round in circles_  
And I've worn myself out  
Hoping that we'll always be together  
Yeah we'll always be together

 

Peter awoke slowly. First, he was aware of the heavy blanket atop his body. Next, he could feel the absence of the pain he had become accustomed to. Then came the feel of his limbs, and the awareness of light around him. Too light to be the _Benatar_. He wanted to blink, but his eyes felt heavy.

“He is waking,” Mantis’ voice sounded much too loud in Peter’s ears.

“Are you awake, Peter?” Gamora’s voice was much softer than Mantis’, but still felt too heavy in his mind. A headache was spreading through his head, settling in every corner.

Peter could only give a thumbs up in answer.

“How do you feel?” She asked next, concern obviously laced in her voice.

Peter shook his head, forcing his eyes open. His mouth was incredibly dry, so he reached for the cup of water on the bedside table. Gamora noticed and immediately reached for it, helping him take a sip.

“Like shit,” Peter answered her previous question once he’d washed his mouth out.

“You look like shit,” came Rocket’s voice next.

“Wow, thanks,” Peter grumbled.

“You almost died,” Gamora told him, her eyes searching his.

“Feels like it,” Peters mouth felt dry again.

“What happened?” Gamora asked, her voice prodding.

“My body didn’t like being mortal,” Peter shrugged. “I think.”

“The doctor provided the same information.” Gamora nodded. “Your body wasn’t able to heal to its normal proficiency.”

“You were extremely stupid, Quill.” Drax spoke, his gaze intense.

“If we’re going to be a team, you have to tell us the truth,” Gamora fixed him with her own stern look. “You cannot hide things this serious.”

Peter sighed. How had his façade crumbled into this? Hadn’t he spent the last two weeks avoiding this conversation? “I didn’t know my body wouldn’t heal.”

“It should’ve been obvious, you moron.” Rocket stood at the foot of his hospital bed. “You let two d’ast weeks pass! Humie’s are slow but not that slow.”

“I am Groot.”

“I’m sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Groot sat in his lap, his eyes wide with concern.

“We were all very scared,” Mantis’ voice was sincere. “I am sorry I could not ease your pain.”

“Hey, Mantis, it’s not your fault.”

He looked at each of the Guardians in turn. Each shared a look of worry and something that looked a lot like fear. And hadn’t this been the reason he’d hid it? Scaring them was the last thing he had intended.

“I’m the captain, and I didn’t want to worry anyone.”

“That’s stupid,” Drax told him.

“Drax is right,” Rocket agreed. “For better or worse we’re stuck together, and-” Gamora cut him off.

“The point is, you can’t keep secrets like that anymore.”

Peter nodded, exhaustion settling into his bones. He wasn’t in any pain, but the phantom of it hadn’t left just yet. Exhaustion had also settled into his bones.

“How long am I stuck here?”

“The doctor said two days,” Gamora answered. “Your body is now regenerating, but you will need to rest and heal.”

Peter nodded again, his body feeling very lethargic.

“You should sleep,” Gamora chastised. “Let’s give him some space,” she addressed the team. As she stood up, she reached into her pocket.

She pulled out his zune and handed it to him gingerly.

“Oh hell yeah,” Peter grabbed for it. “Thanks, ‘Mora,”

“I figured you would want to listen while you heal.”

“Yeah, this is great,” he smiled weakly.

They each said their goodbyes, and gave him well wishes. He fumbled to put in the earbuds to his zune, choosing to shuffle through the music. He had two days left in the hospital, and he intended to sleep through all of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought!


	2. Nothing Can Change This Love

_Chapter Two - Nothing Can Change This Love_

Gamora couldn’t help the groan that fell from her lips. She sat alone in her quarters, frustration—and something that felt eerily like fear—festering in her chest. Her mind playing the same several thoughts over and over again. She wanted to scream in panic and desperation. Because she was trained to be stronger than this. The desire for emotional and physical intimacy had been beat out of her. Which had been helpful in staying alive, she knew. Her life had been nothing more than a day to day struggle of keeping herself alive. Now that survival wasn’t an immediate issue, it seemed that other, mortal desires had been born inside of her once more. And there was no one to blame but herself. No matter how badly she wanted to blame Peter.

She had made up her mind at least an hour ago that talking to Peter might be the best idea in this situation. She just hadn’t worked up the courage. She didn’t know if she had that much fearlessness inside of herself. She didn’t know what it looked like. She wondered how being that vulnerable with another person could be anything more than a death sentence. Her options were thinning, though.

Which is why she finally left her own quarters, walked down the short hallway and hovered in front of Peter’s door. For several seconds she just listened to the sound of him humming from inside. She could hear him shuffling around, no doubt dancing. She found that she wanted to watch him, let some of his carefree happiness settle within herself.

Gamora didn’t bother knocking on Peter’s door when she finally decided to stop cowering in the hallway. She walked in, attempting to exude the confidence she did not feel. Peter’s quarters were clean, even somewhat decent for him. There were no piles of clothing on the floor. His bedspread was pulled towards the headboard.

“Oh, hey, ‘Mora,” Peter smiled happily, gesturing for her to come in. His blonde curls laid against his forehead. She smiled back, closing the door behind her as she walked further into the room.

“I just finished cleaning up in here,” Peter told her. “It was disgusting, even for me.”

Gamora smiled. “It is a good example for Groot.”

Neither said another word. Peter gave her a quizzical look, and she knew she should’ve had a reason to be here. A reason she was willing to share with Peter. Being in Peter’s presence solidified what she already knew, though. She enjoyed his company, liked his attention, and wanted both of those things for herself.

“I was listening to some new songs on here,” Peter spoke, offering a safe conversation. He picked up the zune that was laying on his bed. “And dancing.”

Gamora felt like a fool. She had nothing she wanted to say now. Because her mind was still a battlefield of longing for him and a separate longing to stab all of the emotion out of herself. And the question that wouldn’t leave her mind, _‘Who am I now that I can choose?’_

She didn’t notice how close they now stood, until Peter spoke.

“Gamora,” his voice was soft in her ear, his hand held out for her to grab. Being alone and agreeing to dance with Peter meant having to face this palpable thing between them. Things suddenly felt completely out of her depth. She still hadn’t thought of a way to even begin to _speak_ about what he had called their _unspoken thing_. Fortunately, he didn’t say another word. Instead, he had already pushed play on his Zune, soft music filling his quarters. She instantly recognized the singer as Sam Cooke.

Another moment passed between the two, before Gamora sighed and placed her hand in Peter’s. He grasped it gently, tugging her towards him. She went easily.

“ _Make me weep, and you can make me cry_ ,” Peter sang along softly, his voice holding Gamora to the moment.

Peter’s other hand was at the small of her back, strong and firm. He held her close to his own body, leading Gamora as he always did when they danced. Dancing had become their thing, and Gamora tried to not let that bother her, too.

“I don’t know how,” Gamora started quietly, voice joining the music. Peter’s eyes were closed and he continued to sing along. Gamora wasn’t sure if he heard her. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to continue her sentence.

“ _But honey, nothin’, nothin’ can ever change this love I have for you_ ,”

The moment was intimate. More intimate than Gamora knew how to be. She knew about strategizing, and besting someone in hand-to-hand combat. She didn’t know about being soft. Peter was overwhelmingly soft. His green eyes were now looking right into her own, glancing down at her lips, too. She was aware that she wanted to kiss him. And yet. She tried to forget it.

She knew enough about dancing now to take her hand off of Peter’s shoulder and spin away from him. He smiled gently at her, so she looked away. She waited two beats, before curling back up against his side. Peter kept her close, swaying them for a moment. She avoided eye contact. He hummed in her ear. His touch was warm. She was afraid of the feeling growing in her gut.

“ _Oh you’re cake and ice cream. Oh you’re sugar and spice and everything nice. You’re the girl of my, my, my, my dreams_.” He pulled her back around to face him once more. She was both eager and afraid for the song to end.

“Peter,”

He didn’t respond. She was unsure if he’d even heard her or if he’d chosen to ignore her. Sitting just at the back of her mind was her gut reaction to lash out against him. Weeks ago she wouldn’t have been able to fight it back. Her training was in self-defense; being ignored wasn’t useful in interrogation or battle. Now, though, she knew that the current situation didn’t call for anger. He wasn’t disrespecting her, nor was he attempting to anger her. She could feel his happiness and passion for the song and the moment they were sharing. She wanted that for herself.

They continued to sway back and forth while the song rose and peaked. Peter continued to sing quietly just for her. Despite her growing calmness in the moment, her mind wouldn’t quite let her relax. There was now hardly any space between the pair.

As the final chorus closed, he spun her gently. Her curls settled back at her shoulders, and she allowed herself to meet his gaze for the first time. Her mind was a jumble of differing thoughts, like _‘I want, I want, I want’_ and _‘attachments lead to pain’_ and _‘I don’t have a clue how any of this works’_. She tried to somehow say it all with just her eyes.

The song ended and faded back into itself. He must’ve put the song on loop since he now had that ability. Sometimes they all got to hear the same song several times in a row before someone threw something at Peter. Tonight, she didn’t mind. It gave her more time to think.

Peter started gliding the pair across the room. His moves her smooth and she did her best to follow along. It became nearly impossible to bite back the smile that threatened to take over her face. Dancing with him like this had an amazing effect on silencing her fears, though.

“ _I’d write a letter each and every day_ ,” Peter crooned.

Peter was sentimental. It was aspirational to her, how he had so many momentums from his mother and their shared time on Earth. Or how he had specific smiles for each Guardian—a fact she was sure only she had noticed, that even Peter wasn’t aware of. Or how he knew specific dates from Earth that meant nothing in the vastness of space. Or those moments where he shared a new song with her, when warmth flooded her entire being.

Her wild fears were rising back to the surface. Her chest felt suddenly tight with the weight of it all. Like how she wasn’t sure she was even capable of being any of the things she craved to be. Or if Thanos had taken away her ability to be truly close with someone in this way. Every time she allowed herself to grow closer to Peter, her mind fought back in overtime. Between pulling her hands away from his after a moment of weakness on Berhert weeks ago, to her lingering gaze just hours earlier. He made her want to be someone she had always longed to unlock.

As her mind grew cloudier and cloudier, she hardly noticed when Peter attempted a new dance move with her. He was suddenly crouching and attempting to push her gently back towards the floor.

“Peter!” She shrieked, trying to right herself. He laughed, his eyes squinting. “What was that?!”

“It’s called a dip,” he explained, attempting to do it again.

“Is it a dance move from Terra?” Peter laughed again.

“Yes,” he answered. “It’s considered difficult.”

“Certainly it cannot be that hard,” Gamora gestured for him to try again. When they succeed in ‘the dip’, she allowed herself to relax. No Terran dance move could best her.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Peter asked as the song ended and started once more.

“Pardon me?”

Peter laughed. His facial features were continually affectionate, and Gamora felt overwhelmed by it. She wanted to understand. “It’s just a saying, meaning like, I’d pay to know what’s on your mind.”

“It’d be a waste of units,” Gamora answered, attempting to evade the question.

“Nah,” Peter shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

Gamora didn’t speak. Because how could she put any of her feelings into words that would make any sense?

“Gamora?”

Suddenly, dancing didn’t feel right anymore. She pulled away from his embrace easily as he didn’t try to hold onto her. She paced the length of the foot of his bed, wringing her hands as she went. When she glanced back towards him, he smiled encouragingly despite the confusion in his eyes.

Her mind whirled through her thoughts in a blink. Like how she knew for certain that she wanted to be closer to him than anyone else she’d ever known. She knew that her time with Peter had taught her more than she ever dared to dream of before. Her mind had even begun separating her life into two categories; life before Peter and the Guardians and now after meeting them. She knew that she felt safe and happy here with him. She could only hope it was enough.

“It’s just an unspoken thing,” she repeated what she’d said weeks ago, all the while knowing it wouldn’t work this time. That she didn’t want it to work this time.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Peter spoke gently yet surely.

“I don’t know what to say,” she said and then thought to herself, _‘I only know how I feel’_. Feelings had never been enough in the past. Feelings had been beat out of her. That discipline was hard to shake.

“Say that you want to kiss me as bad as I wanna kiss you,” Peter said, though he didn’t move. Gamora knew that it was her move next. This was her chance to make or break the unspoken thing. Some things, she thought, she had to decide with her heart, not her mind. And although her mind was a warzone, she took one step forward. Then another, and another until she stood within Peter’s grasps. Without her boots on she was several inches shorter than Peter. Their gaze met and she rose to her toes. He met in her in the middle.

Gamora hadn’t given herself time to expect anything, and yet their kiss was somehow better than what she ever would’ve expected. His lips were soft against hers, though he pressed firmer, hands sliding around her waist. Gamora was tactile, competitive, passionate. It only took a moment for her to press back firmer. Her hands played against his cheeks, his scruff tickling her hand. Distantly she could hear the song continue to play.

Peter pulled away only to press kisses against her face: her cheek, her nose, her temple. He took deep, shuddering breaths between each kiss. Her mind whirled, but she didn’t move to stop him. It came as a shock to discover that she didn’t want the moment to ever end.

“We don’t have to speak about it now,” Peter assured her. She hadn’t realized the weight of that conversation had been making her upset until he did.

Gamora nodded. Attempting to silence her mind once more, she leaned up to capture his lips with her own once more.

It was terrifying. And exhilarating. She didn’t have a clue how to be in a relationship like this. But as Peter pulled her impossibly closer, she decided she was okay with learning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leaving a review will give you seven years of good luck!


	3. L.O.V.E.

_Chapter 3 - L-O-V-E_

_L is for the way you look at me_

Although things were now somewhat spoken about, Peter still felt there was so much ahead of himself and Gamora. They had spent the last several days kissing whenever there was a spare moment. Peter had never imagined how fun it could be to just kiss someone he cared so deeply about. He had decided long ago to allow Gamora to set the pace. And while it was easy to put Gamora and her needs first, he’d just begun discovering how easy it could be for him, too. Having even this little step forward was enough to keep Peter smiling like an idiot. Or so the other Guardians said. Although neither Peter nor Gamora had said anything to the others, no one was blind.

“We’re not stupid,” Rocket said off-handedly. Peter had no idea what type of weapon Rocket was currently working on, but it hardly mattered. “You’re a moron if you thought you were hiding it.”

“Psh,” Peter scoffed. “There’s nothing to hide.”

Rocket shook his head. “You’re pathetic, Quill. You’re lovesick.”

“Yeah, okay. Everybody already knows that,” Peter tried to play it off. He hadn’t spoken to Gamora about what she wanted everyone to know. And he wasn’t about to betray her trust just as he was finally building it. She had shown him a side of herself that was incredibly intimate, and it would be safe with him.

Peter turned to leave.

“Run off, lover boy.”

Peter flipped him off, walking towards the training center. Gamora and Drax had been up there for over an hour, attempting to train Mantis in hand-to-hand.

“Mantis,” Peter could hear the exasperation in Gamora’s voice as he ascended the ladder. “I told you, do not attempt to strike Drax. Simply dodge his attacks.”

Mantis merely nodded. She ducked as Drax threw a punch. She rose too quickly, allowing Drax to land a punch into her shoulder. She crumpled to the floor.

“Never take your eyes off your opponent,” Gamora critiqued.

“Hey, Quill,” Drax was the first to notice Peter peeking through the opening in the floor. “We are teaching Mantis to fight.”

“How’s that going?”

“It is going good,” Mantis answered from her curled up position on the floor.

Peter looked from Drax to Gamora. Gamora merely shrugged.

“She is very weak.” Drax offered with a shrug of his own. “She isn’t good at defense.”

“She’ll get there,” Gamora said, helping Mantis up to her feet. “She has the best teachers.”

“Gamora and Drax are very skilled,” Mantis told Peter matter-of-factly, as if he didn’t somehow already know that.

“They are,” Peter agreed.

“Why don’t you two spar,” Gamora suggested, gesturing between Peter and Mantis.

“I don’t know about that,” Peter said quickly. Peter wasn’t great in hand-to-hand combat. That’s why he had blasters. And grenades. And those little bombs Rocket had made especially for Peter.

“Oh, Peter!” Mantis exclaimed. “That would be so fun!”

Peter sighed, finding it hard to deny Mantis. Since Mantis joined their little family, Peter had subconsciously begun viewing her as a little sister. She had been raised by his biological father, after all. And Peter had always begged his mother for a sibling, particularly a little sister he could teach and protect. Which was exactly how it felt being around Mantis. Although she—not unlike the rest of them—had been raised in horrible circumstances, she somehow managed to stay kind. She was eager to listen to anything the Guardians desired to teach her. Somehow she had become a missing piece no one had realized was missing.

Denying Mantis of anything was not a strong point for Peter. Also, it was Gamora’s idea to spar. Peter _really_ couldn’t say no to her.

“I mean, maybe for a minute,” Peter caved. Mantis clapped excitedly.

“Alright, Mantis,” Gamora spoke up, beginning to instruct her. “Stand in your corner of the mat. Peter, you face her on the other side.”

Both followed Gamora’s command wordlessly. Mantis balled her hands into fists, holding them against her chest. Peter wanted to laugh at how ridiculous she looked.

“Peter, you’ll advance towards Mantis and attempt to strike her shoulder. Mantis, you will aim to evade Peter’s attack.”

Peter nodded, walking towards Mantis, feeling suddenly very foolish. What was he supposed to do, try and punch Mantis? When he was within arm reach of Mantis, he decided to karate chop her in the shoulder. Mantis barely managed to duck and hop to the side.

“That was better,” Gamora sounded harsh, but Peter could hear the hidden praise in her voice. “Now, what if Peter were to kick you?”

“I’m not going to kick her!” Peter spoke up.

“It’ll be fine, Peter, she will attempt to jump.”

“Yes,” Mantis agreed.

Peter shook his head, before turning to face Mantis once more.

“Do not fear her, Quill,” Drax spoke up, completely misreading the situation. “She is weaker than you are.”

“Dude,” Peter turned to glare at him.

“It must run in the family,” Drax noted quietly.

Peter managed to weakly kick at Mantis. She skidded to the side, narrowly avoiding him.

“I think we should focus on teaching Mantis to use her super power.” Peter said, turning to look at Gamora. “She has a strength.”

“She has to be able to defend herself.” Gamora countered. “There may be some she cannot work her empathetic power on.”

“Yeah, but it’ll still be better to practice emotionally subduing,”

Gamora levered him a look. “This is my training session with Mantis,”

“Yes, I understand that, but-”

“Let’s spar,” Gamora cut him off. “Whoever wins can complete Mantis’ lesson for today.”

“What?!” Peter guffawed and Drax broke into his loud laughter.

“Quill, you will never win against Gamora!” Drax spoke between his laughter.

“We can learn together!” Mantis cheered.

“I’m great at combat!” Peter defended himself.

“Prove it,” Gamora challenged, a spark of mischief in her eyes. Peter had to admit how hot it was, how he just wanted to rush over and kiss her.

“Fine! But only because you are so hot right now,” Gamora visibly flushed, though she didn’t seem to spare it a second thought. Instead she walked onto the training mat, shucking off her long leather jacket on the way.

They faced one another, and before Peter could blink Gamora had him on his back, pinned to the floor.

“Quill, you are no match for Gamora,” Drax commented again, but Peter was paying him no mind. He had Gamora on top of him, her hair cascading down around their faces.

Gamora had a glint her eyes, her lips tugging up into a grin. She looked irresistible to Peter. He pressed his lips together, before lifting his head up to meet Gamora’s lips. She pulled back, though, making it impossible for Peter to reach her. He couldn’t help but pout. She quietly laughed, her chest rising and falling against his own. She bit her bottom lip, still not breaking eye contact with him. The glitter and warm intensity in her eyes lit joy in every corner of Peter’s body.

“I win,” she murmured.

“I dunno,” Peter tsked. “From this position, it kind of feels like I won,”

She rolled her eyes, before climbing off of him and helping him to his feet.

“Best two out of three,” she told him, crossing back over to her own corner of the mat.

X

_O is for the only one I see_

Getting black-out drunk at bars was an important part of being a Guardian of the Galaxy. Even Mantis had experienced the excitement of it all. There was the problem of Groot, but fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on who you asked—Gamora was unable to easily get drunk. Her modifications made it nearly impossible.

The Guardians were good at blowing units on drinks and snacks and gambling. With Gamora somewhat sober, they were able to use her to hustle others. They’d made plenty of units off of gambling. Gamora was also great at saving their asses.

Peter had lost sight of her nearly an hour ago. Another drink in, and he forgot that detail. In the back of his mind, something didn’t feel right. But when Rocket dealt him into a card game, all thoughts banished from Peter’s drunk induced brain fog. Rocket’s presence beside him as well as the other players sitting around the table and the cards in his sweaty hands where the only things Peter’s mind was currently aware of.

They’d acquired quite the audience, Peter realized someway into the game. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed. There were people standing around their table, laughing and cheering them on. Rocket was slurring his words, though everyone was still laughing, so it could not have been anything too crude.

The game continued to unfold around him. Rocket was trying to gesture to Peter in the hopes of hustling the others around them. Peter did his best to keep up. It was worth it to try and win a ton of units. After a good play on Peter’s part, he felt an arm on his shoulder, sliding down his bicep. It was warm, deliberate. The touch felt sensual, and Peter knew instantly that it wasn’t Gamora’s hand. He realized at the same moment that he didn’t really care for anyone else to touch him like this but Gamora.

“That was a great play,” a sultry voice whispered in his ear, and he couldn’t help but shiver. The warmth in her breath made his hair stand up. It had nothing to do with excitement, but more to do with the oddity of the situation.

“Oh, uh, thanks, Miss,” Peter found himself saying. He hoped it sounded better than it did in his head.

“You’re really good,” she hummed next, her lips nearly touching the shell of his ear now.

“Uh, thanks,”

“Quill, c’mon, you’re keeping everyone waiting on your dumbass!” Rocket yelled into his other ear. “It’s your turn!”

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” Peter threw his card into the middle of the table, earning glares and growls from the others sat around the table. Several betting chips are slid towards him.

“Thatta, boy!” Rocket’s loud voice broke through the cacophony, while he elbowed Peter roughly.

“Mm, if you keep up your game, you’ll need a reward,” the sultry voice was back in his ear, and Peter tried to shake her off.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it,” Peter said, turning to make eye contact. The woman was Krylorian, her eyes wide and bright. She smiled coyly down at him. “But I’m not interested.”

“Sure you’re not,” she winked at him, as if they were playing some game together. Peter shook his head.

“No, I’m really not interested.” Peter said again.

“Dumbass!” Rocket yelled again. “Pay attention or buy yourself out!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Peter swiveled back around, although he hadn’t been paying enough attention to know which card to play next. He picked one at random, throwing it onto the table. Rocket cheered, as more chips get pushed towards Peter. Must’ve been a good one.

“Wow, another win,” the Krylorian woman cheered quietly. “You’re on a roll.”

Peter sighed, throwing his head back against his chair. His mind was not coherent enough to know how to politely ask the girl to fuck off. The last thing he wanted was something to ruin his chances of winning this game. Nor did he want this girl hanging off of him. His mind couldn’t process how to achieve both.

“Hey, uh, you’re really sweet but I’m just not interested.” Peter tried.

“We’ll see about that,” she replied, rubbing her hand from its perch on his shoulder down to his chest.

“Whoa, okay,” Peter hopped up, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. “I’d really like it if you left me alone.” She looked at him, stunned.

Everything suddenly went to shit.

“You’re cheating!” Someone yelled, voice thick with obvious drunkenness. Peter saw the flash of silver as a knife came hurling towards him. He barely dodged it, watching it soar across the bar. Peter almost wanted to roll his eyes at the absurdity of the situation. He didn’t get the chance. Peter could both see and hear Rocket pull out his gun, aiming it at the knife thrower.

“You got a problem?!” Rocket yelled.

“Your buddy is cheating!”

“I’m not cheating!” Peter threw his arms up in surrender. “I swear!”

“You can’t stand up during a game!” Someone else yelled. The creature had two guns, one faced at Rocket and the other at Peter.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry, I forgot!”

“You two better get out of here before I change my mind about sparing ya,” another man spoke up. Peter noticed for the first time the number of bodyguards surrounding this particular patron. Peter flew away from the table.

“You fucking wish!” Rocket cocked his own gun, and Peter wished he weren’t so drunk.

“Rocket, no!” Peter shouted, batting at Rockets gun. Then over the comms, “A little backup would be great!”

Drax is there within minutes. His own eyes are glossy, but Peter knows he isn’t too far yet. Gamora is next to arrive, Mantis hot on her heels.

“Oh no!” Mantis gasped.

“Yes, exactly,” Peter huffed. “A little help, please!”

Between them all, they managed to get Rocket away from the gambling table before anyone else shot. Quickly, and as a team, they strode across the bar and out the front doors. Gamora transfered a hundred units to the bartender on the way out. Peter was insanely grateful for her.

“That was so ridiculous! Who did that asshole think he was?!” Rocket yelled and rambled the entire way back to the _Benatar_. No one else really said a thing.

Once they were back aboard, Peter ignored everyone with the intent of swallowing a large glass of water and climbing into bed. His head was sloshy, an impending headache growing in his skull. His last conscious thought was that he missed Gamora, wishing he would’ve kissed her goodnight.

 

Peter was startled awake to the sound of someone opening and then shutting the door to his quarters.

“You awake?” Gamora’s voice was loud in his ears, his mind foggy and mushy.

“I am now,” Peter groaned.

“You okay?”

“I will be,”

Gamora didn’t say another thing, though Peter felt the bed indent when she sat at the foot of it. He kept his eyes closed, fighting off his growing headache.

“Did you have fun last night?” She finally spoke again, breaking the silence that had enveloped them both.

“I don’t really remember,” Peter admitted. “Except that I was winning until Rocket pulled out his gun.”

“That’s not what happened,”

“Hmm?”

“You were flirting with a Krylorian and then accused of cheating.” Gamora said it so matter-of-factly, that Peter almost missed what she says. When it finally settled in his mind, his eyes flew open. He immediately sat up, fixing Gamora with a look before his body could protest.

“What?!”

“So you don’t remember that?” Gamora gave him a look of his own.

“No, that is not what happened!”

“Isn’t it?”

“No, that bitch was coming onto me and I told her to stop!”

Gamora gave him another look, this one he couldn’t read. When neither said anything, she gestured for him to continue.

“Then she felt me up, which was totally out of line, so I told her off. Some loser accused me of cheating.”

“And then Rocket pulled a gun?”

“Yes, exactly!” Peter’s head was pounding. He so badly wanted to fall back to sleep, but the strangeness of the entire conversation was enough to keep him awake and alert.

Gamora hummed. She turned away from Peter. Silence enveloped the room. Peter had no idea what to say.

Now that he was only a mortal, Peter was positive his super power might be talking himself into bad situations with Gamora. He’d always been known for his ability to talk himself out of a problem. But maybe that was just a thing of the past.

“Well, it’s too bad Rocket ruined your date.” He cannot read her tone, doesn’t know what she’s trying to say. “It’s been awhile for you.”

“Wait, what?!”

“You must’ve been bored without someone new.”

“What?!” Peter couldn’t help the incredulous look he gave Gamora. He could barely comprehend what she was saying. “You don’t really think that?!”

“Can you blame me?” Gamora asked, and Peter didn’t want to agree with her.

“I haven’t seen anyone else since before we all crammed ourselves together onto the Milano months ago!” Peter’s voice held all the passion he felt in his heart.

“On the day we met, you were boasting of your conquests!” Gamora threw back, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. He could read her body language easily now. While she looked angry—and Peter knew she was—she was using that anger to mask something more.

“That was all to prove a point, and you know it!”

“What are you saying?”

“That I talk big, we all know that!”

“Well pardon me for believing what _you_ said!” She uncrossed her arms, balling her fists at her sides. She was passionate, her words now a shout at him.

“I wasn’t _lying_ , Gamora.” Peter groaned. “I just mean that I was kind of proud of that, then. It was all I knew.”

“I don’t understand your sudden change of heart.” While her voice was still loud, her features looked considerably less scary. Peter had to count that as a win. “Why was that commendable then and not now?”

“Because I was so fucking lonely!” Peter exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. “I didn’t really have anyone worth sharing a life with.”

Gamora froze. Peter wanted to both take the words back and leave them where they were. Being vulnerable wasn’t scary to Peter, but this moment felt so raw. He was afraid of scaring Gamora, but she needed to hear the truth to quiet her fears. Peter had no desire to see anyone that wasn’t Gamora ever again.

“I was just always on the run to the next job or opportunity. If there was somebody who wanted to come along for a night, then I’d jump at the chance. I like company,” A flash of understanding echoed across Gamora’s features. She ran a hand through the roots of her hair, before throwing her head back.

“I don’t want to be another story, another stab scar to show to the next girl.” Gamora’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet. Peter didn’t know if he was supposed to answer or not. Luckily, Gamora spoke again, this time levelling her gaze with his own. “I’m not afraid of stabbing you. I’m afraid of not stabbing you, and what that means.”

Peter felt his entire chest soften. That’s what Gamora needed to know, she made him softer. She gave him a better meaning.

“You can be afraid,” Peter found himself saying. His own mind focusing on his own fears and insecurities. Because Gamora was so much cooler and prettier and smarter than he could ever be. And she was such a badass. And he was a mortal man head over heels for her. “Fuck, I’m scared, too. But not about choosing you. That kind of seems like the easiest decision ever.”

His admission left the room quiet. He hoped Gamora would speak next. There were about a million emotions playing across her face. It was overwhelming just to watch. He couldn’t imagine how she was feeling. For Gamora, their budding relationship was an entirely new territory. On the one hand, he didn’t want to rush her. And yet, on the other hand, he was kind of dying to know what she was thinking.

Gamora rubbed a hand over her face. She inhaled deeply, before meeting Peter’s gaze once again.

“I want to choose you, too.” Gamora finally spoke, her voice soft.

“I’m glad,” Peter smiled at her. “I don’t want you to think I’m going to just pick up some other girl.”

“I trust you,” Gamora assured him. “I wasn’t sure when I walked in here, and I am sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Peter assured her easily. “I would’ve thought the same thing.”

“Aren’t we a pair?” Gamora murmured wryly. Peter laughed, before patting the spot beside him in the bed.

“I’m glad we had this talk,” he told her. “But my head is threatening to explode. Mind if I go back to sleep?”

She smiled, before crawling up the bed to his side. She didn’t say a word, though she did climb underneath the blanket. Peter wrapped an arm around her, before his heavy eyelids won.

_X_

_V is very, very extraordinary_

One of Peter’s favorite places in the _Benatar_ was the privacy of the bathroom. It was currently Peter’s turn in the shower. The water was running as hot as he could stand it, slowly lighting his skin pink. Showering—like nearly every activity Peter participated in—was a great time for singing. Some new song from the Zune was stuck in his head. The song was a bit too sleepy for dancing to, although he did often imagine slow dancing to it with Gamora. The lyrics were sweet. He couldn’t help but to sing it into the shower head.

As he continued to sing, he lathered up his bar of soap, rubbing it against his warm skin. He tried a simple spin, because last time he danced too enthusiastically in the shower he slipped and fell. Which had been very embarrassing. He was pretty keen on avoiding that.

He couldn’t remember the next verse of the song, so he switched to another new one. This one was more upbeat and so he belted the lyrics into the bottle of shampoo he had in his grasps. He was completely in his element. The world around him seized to exist. So much so that Peter nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of rapping on the shower door. He was quick to dawn a stance of defense, despite the fact that his hair was caked with shampoo and the shower floor was quite slippery.

“Mind if I join you?” Gamora’s voice broke through the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. He took two deep breaths, hoping to slow his heart rate back down.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he called back to her. He could just see the silhouette of her body through the frosted glass door. She was shimmying out of her leather pants that clung tightly to her skin. She stood tall, pulling her top over her head. He watched her comb her fingers through her curls, before she slipped open the shower door.

Peter couldn’t keep his eyes off of Gamora. He knew it was a problem. He’d accepted that it was a problem. Though it was hardly a problem he wanted to stop. She was so unbelievably hot.

Their sides brushed as she slid in beside him, getting closer to the spray of warm shower water. She didn’t wince against the heat, nor did she even bat an eyelash. Peter watched, mesmerized, as she dipped her head back into the spray. She ran her fingers through the tangles of her hair, reaching out for the bottle of shampoo. (Peter and Gamora shared; they were the only two in need of the product. Back when they’d only been aboard the _Milano_ for a couple of days, Peter had picked out the scent. He’d never washed with honey apricot, but he knew Gamora wouldn’t pick something nice for herself. And she totally deserved scented shampoo.)

Once her hair was full of suds, she opened her eyes once more. Peter didn’t even pretend to be looking elsewhere. They made eye contact easily, and his face broke into a grin.

“This is a nice surprise,” he told her genuinely. She smiled back at him, reaching out to run her hand down his arm.

“I was tired of waiting for my turn.” When they’d first met, he wasn’t quite accustomed to her form of humor. Now, he knew better; she was trying to joke. He laughed.

“Uh-huh, okay,” Peter’s voice was teasing.

This wasn’t the first shower they’d shared, but it was somehow just as exhilarating. They were nearly pressed completely together. Her hair was pressed against her head, flowing down her back. At her hairline there were bubbles, and her eyelashes were clustered together in wet clumps. And she looked stunning. He didn’t think, just reached forward to place a hand against her cheek. She leaned into his touch, so he counted it as a win. Things were still so new. Peter wanted to go slow, go at the pace that she needed to feel safe. He also had an incredibly hard time holding back his affection. Peter was mesmerized by her.

Barely a moment passed before she leaned forward to press their lips together. He groaned against her lips at the pressure of their kiss. She placed a hand at his waist, squeezing when he nipped at her bottom lip. He pulled her impossibly closer, until they were pressed chest to chest.

Peter was sure he was the luckiest guy in the galaxy.

They continued to kiss, lips sliding together passionately until Peter had to pull away to breathe. Gamora smiled, pressing her forehead against his. She was never out of breath after they made out, which Peter found totally unfair. Her body modifications may always work in her favor, but this one she actually didn’t seem to mind.

In a move of pure skill and precision, Gamora grabbed his shoulders and turned them around so that his back now faced the showers spray. He was both puzzled and completely turned on. Her strength and skilled movements were incredibly hot. She reached her hands up into his hair, titling his head back. She carded her fingers through his hair, washing out the shampoo. Her touch was soothing, and he closed his eyes. She continued massaging and he leaned into the touch.

Suddenly she was biting his neck, his hips bucking up at their own accord.

“Fuck,” he groaned when she licked over where her teeth had just been. She only hummed in acknowledgement.

Her lips slid down to his collarbone, biting his skin there, too. He leaned into her, his hips brushing hers. He was so weak for her.

When she looked back up to meet his eyes, he pressed their lips together once more. She responded eagerly. It still blew his mind that they were close like this. That they shared moments like that. That she came seeking him out. That she was comfortable with him. That they were forming a relationship together. That they were kissing at all. Since the moment he’d laid eyes on her, he’d somehow dreamed of what their relationship might be like. He may have always imagined being close with her, but he’d never been able to picture just how extraordinary it would be.

She pulled away and slid around him once more. This time she washed the shampoo out of her own hair. He kept his hand at her waist, rubbing gentle circles with his thumb. She took another bottle, this time lathering conditioner into the long tendrils that ran down her back. She pressed more into his touch, tilting her head away from the spray. He helped her angle her back away, to avoid washing out the product too soon.

She pressed their chests together as before, colliding their lips once more. His mind started blanking when she rubbed her hands up and down his chest, slipping her tongue into his mouth. He was only aware of their bodies touching along their chests, at their hips. And how their lips continued to dance in sync.

Gamora was both commanding and hesitant—he’d never known those two could go hand-in-hand until he’d become intimate with Gamora—when she grabbed his wrist, pulling it towards her sex. Once she set the pace, he never hesitated. She guided him gently, though he was aware that he had the full power in the situation. He knew that she was uncertain, that she didn’t know how to verbally ask. He was insanely grateful that she trusted him, that she found a way to ask for what she wanted from him.

She let go of his wrist when his fingers brushed her pelvic bone. She was completely still, except where her hand currently slid down his back. He pressed a kiss at her temple, before sliding his finger down. Her breath hitched, and he kissed her cheek. Pleasuring her was one of his new favorite things.

Peter didn’t think he’d ever get used to how wonderful it felt to be close to Gamora. She was his best friend. And he was in love with her. And they saved the galaxy together, and they have the hottest sex.

X

_E is even more than any one that you adore_

Peter’s quarters were dark. He was only aware through touch that Gamora was pressed against his side. They laid together, curled up in his bed. Her head was resting against his shoulder and her arm was thrown over his waist. She radiated warmth through his entire body at every point they touched. The day had been long and physically taxing. The Guardians had each retired to their own quarters. Gamora, though, and followed Peter into his room. She’d silently slipped out of her tight, leather outfit and pulled a shirt of Peter’s over her head. It was incredibly hot and endearing, the words Peter always used to sum Gamora up. She was fantastic, and badass, but she was also adorable. Each part of Gamora’s personality somehow fit perfectly together.

Gamora hadn’t said a thing as she climbed into bed beside Peter. He’d followed her lead, quietly joining her beneath the blanket.

Now, she played with the hem of his shirt. Her skin was pleasantly warm against his torso where her wrist sat. He was humming along to a song that wasn’t playing, his own hand playing with her braids. He could tell something was on her mind, something she didn’t know how to voice. As she allowed herself to open up around him, he began reading her little nonverbal signs.

“I don’t know how any of this works,” Gamora whispered into the darkness of the room, breaking the silence that had enveloped them. Peter could feel her warm breath against his skin as she exhaled heavily.

Peter took a moment to roll her words around his mind.

“I don’t either,” Peter admitted eventually, thinking of how little he knew about romantic relationships aside from Terran television shows. “I haven’t ever been, like, so into one person before.”

“I don’t know your customs,” Gamora added, as if it were a competition on who was worse relationship material.

“I don’t know yours,” Peter countered.

“Well, neither do I,” Gamora huffed out a sad little laugh. “I was a kid when Thanos took me.” Peter winced, not having thought that one through.

“Then we don’t need customs,” Peter assured, rubbing a gentle hand down her arm. “We can make our own. Like saving the galaxy is the first step of a healthy relationship,” although he could hardly see her face in the darkness, he knew she was smiling. “And maybe dancing to Sam Cooke is second.”

“Let me guess,” Gamora teased. “Saving the galaxy a second time is the third step?”

“Yes, exactly.” Peter agreed. “Fourth is…” Peter’s voice trailed off.

“Learning to be vulnerable,” Gamora whispered, her voice suddenly very serious.

“Yeah, that.” Peter hummed in agreement. “And having a Zune is essential.”

“I never thought I could have this,” Gamora admitted. Peter would never stop being grateful that she trusted him enough to share her heart so openly. “And so I didn’t imagine what it would be like.”

“Expectations ruin the real thing,” Peter offered. “Or at least that’s what my mother would say.”

“She sounds wise,” Gamora murmured, squeezing Peter’s hip in reassurance.

“She was,” Peter agreed.

“I don’t want to mess anything up,”

“You won’t,” Peter assured her without missing a beat.

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just know you,”

Neither said another word for awhile. Peter felt peaceful to just lay beside her. Despite the future unknowns, and the trauma of their pasts, he felt content in the moment. He knew there would be a lot to work out, but being with her would be completely worth it.

“Plus,” Peter broke the silence, feeling the need to add onto their lingering conversation. “We’re the two hottest people in the whole galaxy. That has to count for something.”

Gamora laughed, and it nearly sounded like a giggle. Peter tried to stuff down the immediate fondness that flooded his chest, afraid of scaring her.

“You are so adorable,” Peter’s traitorous mouth betrayed him. He could feel Gamora tense beside him. “Please, don’t kill me.”

“I am not adorable.” She said, which felt like an olive branch since she didn’t sound angry.

“I don’t know about that.”

She pinched his side. He didn’t take it back, but he didn’t push it.

There would be time to talk again, Peter knew. Now was the time to feel her body warmth, and listen to her breathe, feel her chest rise and fall. Now was the time to enjoy the new intimacy they shared. He kissed her temple, and settled back in. He knew he’d be asleep soon and that she would lie awake for hours. He knew when he awoke in the morning she’d still be fast asleep. Everything felt like enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may have been my favorite to write. Please let me know what you thought!


	4. Turn To Stone

_Chapter Four - Turn To Stone_

_i._

_The city streets are empty now_  
(The lights don't shine no more)  
And so the songs are way down low

 _A sound that flows into my mind_  
(The echoes of the daylight)  
Of everything that is alive  
(In my blue world)

Gamora so desperately wanted to be everything Peter needed and wanted. Despite how ridiculous it sounded even in her own mind. She was her own person. She was strong and brave and capable. But, for some reason, the longing in her chest didn’t ease up. Because Peter was sentimental and he hid his gentleness behind cockiness and his altruism behind narcissism. And she wondered if there was anything inside herself that could match any of that.

The first time he asked the question—the one she had no idea how to answer—they were both standing in the kitchen of the _Benatar_. The others had all left the room, complaining about Peter and Gamora’s new relationship. “A bunch of fucking saps,” Rocket had grumbled as he left the kitchen, swinging the door shut behind the other Guardians. Gamora could hear the questions Mantis was asking before the door stopped swinging back and forth.

“So,” Peter started. He had that tone in his voice; wistful and happy. “Does this mean we’re boyfriend girlfriend?” It almost sounded childish, but Gamora knew how serious he is. One of his hands sat on her waist, his gaze lingering on her facial features. Ninety seconds ago she’d been just as happy, but the sudden change in tone shatters her ease. Gamora didn’t know how to put words to the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach; how it just plummeted to her knees. She wondered if it might be _fear_.

She scrambled to sort out her thoughts, because Peter has just asked her a question. A question that required an answer. She didn’t know how to say, _‘Yes, this is all I’ve ever wanted’_ and _‘As long as Thanos lives, you will not be safe’_ and _‘How?’_. So instead she stomped it all down, grabbed Peter’s shoulder roughly and rose to her tiptoes to kiss him. It was the easiest way to slow his mind down. Maybe it would be enough to answer his question.

He responded eagerly. His hand at her waist gripped her harder, pulling her even closer. Her own thoughts started to fade away, as he kissed her passionately. His lips moved smoothly against her own, holding both her body and her heart still.

A moment later, he pulled away. With his forehead resting against her own, he breathed deeply. While he attempted to catch his breath, Gamora slid a hand up into his curls. She carded her fingers through, tousling it in her wake. She placed a kiss at his jawline, her lips lingering. Gamora could feel Peter smile. His hand rubbed circles at her side. And she felt content for the moment.

 

_ii._

_I turn to stone when you are gone_  
I turn to stone  
I turn to stone, when you comin' home  
I can't go on

 _The dying embers of a night_  
(A fire that slowly fades 'till dawn)  
Still glow upon the wall so bright (turning, turning)

They were on some poor, forgotten planet tracking down a plant for a Xandarian scientist. It wasn’t necessarily a mission they would normally complete, but Dey had asked them personally. Peter didn’t know how to say ‘no’, Gamora knew. And wouldn’t it be nice to work on a relatively easy mission.

At the planet’s sunrise they had landed the _Benatar_ at the edge of the flat plains of geysers. The plains stretched out as far as the eye could see. The only thing breaking the horizon was the volcano just barely visible in the distance.

The Guardians had loaded their packs atop their backs, and pulled on goggles Rocket had engineered. Getting Drax to suit up took a bit of prodding, but soon enough they set out on their journey. It promised to be at least a two day hike to the volcano. Unfortunately, the _Benatar_ would be unable to land any closer to the field of illusive plants.

They’d walked for the majority of the planets daylight before camping just past the geyser fields.

Peter had made a fire, as the temperature of the planet was dropping exceedingly. Gamora stood just at the edge of their campsite, watching Groot chase beetle-like creatures around. Rocket had caught him eating one earlier and they hoped to avoid it happening again.

Gamora could hear the other Guardians talking, but couldn’t make out the conversation. Drax was laughing, Mantis giggling, and Rocket had even let out a signature guffaw. Peter must’ve been telling a story.

Moments later, the conversation lulled, and Gamora heard footsteps approaching her.

“Hey,” Peter greeted Gamora, waving to Groot when the little sapling turned to smile at him. “Hey, buddy,” he called to Groot, and then softly to Gamora, “He’s got endless energy.”

“I do not think it is endless,” Gamora turned to him, giving a look of puzzlement. “He’ll tire eventually.” Peter chuckled.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

Neither said another thing, though Peter did wrap an arm around her shoulders. She allowed herself to lean into him, taking in a deep breath in hopes of calming herself. The planet was beautiful, but Gamora knew sunset could bring out the planets inhabitants. Wild beasts, Dey had warned them. Nothing they couldn’t handle, Gamora knew.

“Drax killed something, not sure if I’m interested in eating it.” Peter spoke up a minute later.

“We brought nutrition bars.” Gamora offered. Peter made a face. “Exactly.” She had to agree. No one was too keen on the bars.

“But, I was thinking,” Peter pulled her closer more, and until she herself laid her head against his shoulder. It wasn’t new—she’d done it on several different occasions—and yet it still made her stomach flutter. “Things are going really good, right?”

“All things seem to be good, yes.” Gamora agreed. “Though I think you’re referring to something specific.”

“Ah, yes, I am,” his voice suggested he was attempting to be casual, though Gamora saw through it. “Like, between us.”

Gamora floundered, blanking on what she’s supposed to say. She preferred when Peter lead these conversations. He was much more confident about these things. He was better at being open. If he led the way, Gamora could follow his lead.

“It’s like we were saying the other day,” Peter spoke up and Gamora felt a rush of gratitude. “That it’s better just us two.”

Gamora nodded.

“So does that make us boyfriend girlfriend?”

Gamora sucked in a breath. She turned to look at him, her heart thundering in her chest. There was that question again. She hadn’t given it much more thought since he first brought it up. There were two lists in her mind when it came to this topic. There was what she did know—that she wanted to keep Peter just to herself, that she really loved his companionship and the friendship they already shared—and there were the things she didn’t know—everything else.

“Um, what is that?” Mantis’ frantic voice cut off Gamora’s train of thought.

“We’ve got a situation,” Rocket supplied. “Gamora, Quill, Groot, duck!” Rocket ordered, and things suddenly kicked into gear for Gamora.

Coming from the woods were a pack of beasts Gamora had never before outside of the research she’d done prior to their mission. The beasts were nearly as tall as she was, and wider than anything she’d encountered in quite a while. Their eyes were glowing in the twilight, large teeth and frothing growls accompanying them.

“We’ve got company,” Peter said, reaching up to activate his helmet.

Gamora bent down to scoop Groot up in her arms, before turning and gently lobbing him at Drax. Drax caught him, and gingerly set him down by their tents.

Drax took two large leaps before he stood between Gamora and Peter. He had both knives in his grasps, his stance tall and rigid. Rocket and Mantis weren’t far behind, joining the group at the foot of the woods. They stood in a line, weapons raised. Gamora didn’t glance away from the beasts, waiting semi-patiently for them to attack first. She knew if it wasn’t soon, Drax would take matters into his own hands. It didn’t take but another moment for two beasts to jump at them, effectively starting the slaughter.

Nobody wasted a second. Gamora could hear Peter’s blasters and Rocket’s gun. Drax had jumped at the beasts, whipping his knives back and forth. Out of the corner of her, Gamora could see Mantis duck behind Peter, using him as a shield until she was close enough to engage with the beasts.

Gamora stopped a conscious train of thought, instead focusing on the methodical jabs of her knife. It was easy to duck and jump and stab the lower life forms. They lacked the ability to strategize, which made it easy to distract and destroy.

“You didn’t really answer my question, Gamora,” she barely noticed Peter’s voice in her comm. The remaining beasts circled around them, green saliva dripping from their large teeth. Gamora unsheathed Godslayer just as a beast jumped and ran towards her.

“Earth to Gamora,” Peter’s voice came again, using another Terran reference they had all come to recognize. “What do you say about the whole boyfriend thing?”

“Is now seriously the time for this?!” Gamora exclaimed, slicing Godslayer in an arc above her head.

“I mean, I don’t see why not?” Peter called back, his Star-Lord mask covering his face and muffling his voice in the comm.

“Well that’s because you’re seriously lacking in intellectual competence!” Rocket yelled.

“Hey!” Peter squawked, sounds of his blaster nearly drowning out his voice.

“I agree with, Quill,” Drax piped in. “Battlefields are great places to display your abilities to a romantic partner. How else could he possibly prove himself worthy of Gamora?”

“Wow, thanks. I don’t know if I should be offended by that comment or not,” Peter huffed.

“See? You’re proving my point precisely, Quill. You’re stupid. Drax is right. You’re nothing but a show off!”

“I am not!”

“Enough! You are all being childish!” Gamora’s voice was loud and angry, cutting over their argument. “Shut up and help me kill this pack of beasts!”

No one dared comment that they had all been shooting successfully during their spat. Gamora was happy to hear nothing but the sounds of their weapons and the dying whimpers of the beasts.

The pack of twelve soon dwindled, large beasts laying in pools of their own blood. It happened quickly, what with each Guardian taking down more than one. As the last beast fell to the floor, Gamora turned away, heading back to their campsite. Groot was watching them from behind a log, eyes wide.

“It’s okay, Groot,” Gamora assured him, running a comforting hand down his back. She ignored the others, returning to her tent she would be sharing with Peter. She intended on falling asleep before Peter braved coming in. Feigning anger was much easier than discussing the millions of thoughts clouding her mind.

 

_iii._

_Through all I sit here and I wait_  
(I turn to stone, I turn to stone)  
You will return again some day  
To my blue world

It took only two days for Peter to bring the topic back up. She knew, deep down, that she couldn’t avoid it forever. Nor did she really want to. She owed Peter an explanation. She owed an explanation to herself, too. Fighting her mind on the subject was draining.

Peter found her in her quarters, gathering her things for a shower.

“There you are,” Peter greeted, knocking on her open door before walking in. She turned to him. “Been looking for you.”

“I’ve been here.” Gamora offered.

“Hey, uh,” Peter looked tense, and so Gamora gestured for him to walk towards her. When he was within arms distance, she took his hands in her own.

“What is it?”

“It’s just we keep getting interrupted,”

“Yes,” Gamora agreed, thinking of Mantis walking past them kissing in the hallway and Rocket finding them sat together in the pilots seat last night in a compromising position.

“So we haven’t gotten to talk about it yet.” And there, Gamora realized too late what conversation she had gotten herself into. The one she still wasn’t any closer to resolving in her mind. Gamora pulled away, and she watched the hurt flash across Peter’s face.

“Remind me,” Gamora played dumb.

“Well, we’ve been kissing and sleeping together and doing, y’know all that other stuff together,” Peter began, uncharacteristic nervousness in his voice. “And so, like, is this a relationship? Is it a fling? Are we gonna call each other boyfriend and girlfriend?” He ticked them off of his fingers one by one.

Gamora sighed, running a hand through her own hair. “Peter, I,” she stopped herself, unsure what to say. She wanted to spend the rest of her future with Peter, but all of the words and labels he used sounded suffocating. For as long as she remembered, she had only ever been just Gamora. Against her will she’d been a daughter and a sister and a master of death. She hadn’t had a choice in any of that. Faced now with this enormous choice, she cracked.

“If you don’t like me like that, you just need to tell me.” Peter sounded defeated, all of his fight evaporating away.

“No, no,” Gamora shook her head, wanting to scream. “It’s not that at all.”

“Okaaaay,” Peter’s look of skepticism was met with his nervous dragging out of the word, slowing down Gamora’s translator chip. He didn’t say another word, instead leaving the conversation open for her.

She was aware of how tense her body had become. “I dig you,” Gamora assured him, using the terminology she’d heard Peter use a hundred times. He laughed softly, though it sounded more like a happy breath of air. “I promise.”

“Well, good,” Peter said. “’Cause I _really_ dig you.”

Gamora smiled, if not a tad sadly. “It’s just,” she balled her hands into fists and then shook them out. This was entirely new territory. She preferred to be in control. To be precise. To be headstrong. This entire relationship with Peter had thrown her off her axis. “I want to be with you. But all of the words and labels and,” she shrugged somberly. “And Thanos, Peter, you don’t understand. As long as Thanos is alive and we have a labeled relationship, you are a target.”

Peter’s face turned from confusion to sadness in seconds. “Oh, Gamora,” he took a step towards her, reaching for her. Gamora didn’t want to admit how safe he made her feel. “If I ever meet that fucking bastard I’ll kill him.” He said it so completely seriously, that Gamora couldn’t help the tiny smile that dared to break her features. Somehow, he always knew what to say.

“Peter,” She huffed, trying not to roll her eyes. “It’s not that easy.”

“It can be.” Peter’s open body language left Gamora pulling away from him.

“It isn’t, though. This is serious to me.”

Peter paused, searching her face for what Gamora didn’t know. “Okay, okay,” he put his hands up in mock surrender.

“I don’t want to hurt your feelings,” Gamora expressed earnestly. She knew her face was betraying her, so she turned to look away from him. “But this is serious. This is Thanos.” She paused, breathing past the tightness in her chest. “And he will not hesitate to hurt either of us if he knows.” She allowed her eyes to finally look back at Peter. “This is all so new to me, Peter. I never knew I could experience this. And I am happy. For the first time in nearly a lifetime, I am happy. I don’t need a label for that.”

Peter just nodded, walking towards her once more. When he was close enough, she allowed him to wrap his arms around her. After a moment of his warm embrace, she relaxed enough to put her own arms around him. She took a deep breath, allowing his familiar scent to set her at ease.

“You’re right,” Peter agreed, pulling back to look into her eyes. “Who needs a label to say that this is the greatest relationship of all time anyway? I mean, we’d be the hit TV show couple, they’d have to give us our own show or an award or something.”

Gamora laughed in spite of herself, shaking her head at Peter. She hadn’t admitted it to anyone but herself, but she was charmed by the little stories and Terran references Peter shared. His anecdotes were always so silly, so uniquely his. In the middle of a battle he was still able to crack a joke to attempt lightning the mood. Bantering came easy to him, so did his charismatic charm. She hadn’t met anyone quite like him anywhere else in the galaxy.

“You’re sure?” Gamora asked, hoping to silence the fears in her mind. “If you want a very public relationship, then maybe-”

“Don’t even say it! Gamora, seriously,” he gave her a fake glare. “It’s honestly whatever. Besides, long-term booty call is seriously a cooler title.” The warmest smile lit up his face.

“Booty-call?” Gamora raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, it’s like whenever you feel like-” Peter started explaining and Gamora couldn’t stop her laughter.

“I know what it means, Peter,” Gamora assured him. “It’s just an interesting phrase for us.”

“But the ‘long-term’ part is okay?” Peter asked genuinely.

Gamora nodded.

“Thank god,” Peter let out a sigh of relief. “I’m here for the long haul.”

“Me too.”

He crossed the distance between them, cupping her face in both of his hands. He kissed her tenderly, yet passionately. She responded kindly, allowing him to prod her lips with his tongue. She leaned into him, allowing her mind to slow down. Peter was better than anything she could’ve imagined. The conversation she’d been so afraid of having had ended better than she ever hoped. She didn’t think she’d ever stop being amazed by him.

When Peter pulled away, he noticed her towel, toiletries and change of clothes laying on her bed. She herself had forgotten her plans.

“Mind if I join you?” Peter asked, waggling his eyebrows at her. Gamora’s stomach fluttered. Not with nerves, she noted, but with happiness.

“Hmm,” Gamora teased, pretending to think it over. “I guess so.”

Peter laughed, putting a hand on his chest as if he were injured.

Gamora didn’t wait another moment to steal another kiss. When she pulled away, she grabbed his hand and led him towards the bathroom, scooping up her things in her other arm. Peter squeezed her hand gently, following behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so concludes my first Starmora fic! This was so much fun to write. I have a couple more ideas, and so I am post another little one shot to go along in the future. Thank you so much for reading all the way through; it means a lot to me. 
> 
> Please leave a review and let me know what you thought. Reviews make my day, clear my pores and make the sun shine.


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